A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a piece called Let Your Freak Flag Fly! It’s about being yourself. It’s about accepting yourself as you are, and being comfortable in your own skin. When I was working on Persistence, I wrote about an experience I had on a bus. I attempted to speak to a man in a costume that made him look like mayor in the Monopoly game. The man did not even acknowledge me. For a brief moment, I was embarrassed. Then I looked around. I realized no one was paying attention, or even looking in my direction, as if no one heard me speak.
I have two observations about this. The first is everyone in public these days seems to be in a trance. Is it fear of getting involved, or some kind of self-protection? I don’t know. When I was a kid, we said hi to people we met.
Here’s the other observation. It is not uncommon for people with differences to be ignored in public. People with disabilities deal with people who stare every day. When caught, people look away with guilt on their face. It is hard to believe that people with disabilities are still an anomaly when out in the world. When I feel ignored or detect those uncomfortable glances, I feel anonymous. I want to scream “acknowledge me”!. I am here. I am real. I exist. I feel like I cannot live the kind of life I want when people stare and turn away. I fail to see how a greeting takes power away from anyone giving a hello. Something as simple as a hello is an affirmation. It is important, especially if the person you greet does not go out in public very much.
An anonymous life is lonely. There are tons of us whose differences are invisible. People who harbor secrets are living with anxiety. But if your secret could lead to your harm, it’s necessary. What’s happening now is an example, but that’s not what I am talking about.
For years, the disability community has educated and advocated that all we really want is an ordinary life. People who move around in the shadows cannot live a happy life. I smile and say hello to people first. Try it. It could break the ice.